Critique of Friday edition of The Parthenon 9/19

Critique of Friday edition 9/19 of The Parthenon

 

Front page:

The students in charge of the front page always do a magnificent job on the Friday edition of The Parthenon. The quotes from the stories they preview on the front page always draw the reader in and force them to read the story to find out what the context of the quote is in regards to the story. The big background imagine is always great and depicts the main topic for the paper. The quotes and headlines are free of error and correctly follow AP style. Another great front page by The Parthenon staff.

Second page:

The article above the fold regarding the new Visual Arts Center was a well-written article with a few mistakes. I would relocate the location of the building, which lead off the lead sentence. I would move it into the second paragraph. A redundant phrase in the fourth paragraph should also be deleted. The quality of sources is good for the story, but could use a little more depth in reporting. The actual space of the new building could be provided compared to the old one and a bit more on the overall design of the building and what went into that design and construction.

The second article on Runway Couture was also free of a great deal of errors and AP style mistakes. A few unnecessary words toward the end of the story and the lead is a tad long and should be split up accordingly. The reporting of the story is fairly good and the quality of sources is good as well.

The headline for the VAC story is a little cliché. A good headline, but cliché. But, the headlines for both stories are of quality and so is the pictures and captions on the page.

Third page:

The article on the painting of the fiberglass bison by sophomore Brianna Jarvis is a good story. It is a little short though. It could have touched more on how much work and what work went into the painting. The reporting was good and had numerous sources including Jarvis. But, it could have been a little more detailed.

The second article on the page is about people’s memories with the building in which the new VAC is in. I do not think it answers the so what questions. I do not think readers are really interested in the topic. It is a good story and touching, but does it really answer the who cares question? I do not believe so. The author failed to mention whether one of the main sources in the article is from Marshall, or just a random person associated with the building. That would help the story make more sense. The use of a pull quote was a nice touch and brought out why the building meant so much to Michelle Tobey.

The pictures and headlines on the page are good and do not need rewriting. At the bottom of the page a typo on who designed the page occurred. Instead of “.edu” for the email of the designer it is .”eduw.” and shouldn’t have been missed.

Fourth page:

This page was entirely dedicated to the Marshall vs. Akron on Saturday. The article on the page detailing the game had a few more mistakes than the other articles in the paper. The lead was too long and should have been split and made into two separate paragraphs. An unneeded sentence regarding Holliday’s comments on Akron should be deleted as Holliday said the same thing in his quote. The author mentioned the classes of the offensive Akron players, but didn’t do so on the defensive side. An unnecessary word in “exactly” and another unneeded phrase towards the end should be deleted to keep the article concise. The article was accompanied by a graphic detailing the statistics for both Marshall and Akron on both sides of the ball. A good page overall with good headlines, graphics and captions.

Fifth page:

The fifth page was mostly consumed by a large graphic detailing the schedule for a Community Open House event and the VAC opening. There were no errors and AP style mistakes in the graphic. Same for the pictures and the captions about the event. The article on page three regarding the memories of the building the VAC is in jumped to this page as well. So, not much content to edit on the page.

Page Six (Back page):

The back page of this edition is ads for churches in the area. As long as the ads were created by the churches editors should not have to worry about grammar, but should check anyway to be certain the ads are 100 percent correct. The page is well layed-out and is fair as it provides information on a number of churches from different denominations.

 

Overall another good issue from The Parthenon staff. Headlines, pictures and captions were all nice, well-designed and well-written. There could have been more stories in the issue, but they did a good job filling in the space with relevant content. It was a good issue detailing visual arts on campus and not focusing solely on football or sports in general. No major macro issues minus the memories story on the VAC. But, not major AP style mistakes, spelling, grammar, punctuation, etc.

Critque of Friday edition of The Parthenon (Sept. 12)

Critique of Friday edition of The Parthenon (9/12)

Corey Bodden

Front page:

The front page of the Friday edition (Sept. 12) of The Parthenon is like most covers for the Friday/weekend edition of the paper. A front page with no articles, but large images covering the entire page with a small “inside” section at the bottom letting readers get a glimpse of what is in the paper. So, nothing to edit except the inside section for grammar, etc. That section looked good to go on that front and a pull quote used certainly grabs the attention of the readers and almost forces them to turn to that story first. “I could tell by the look on her face that she was shocked.” It just invites the reader to figure out why this person was shocked. Another great front page from the design staff.

 

First page:

The first story is in regards to the first Amicus Curiae lecture given by Laura Donohue on privacy in the digital age. A well-written story with few mistakes. I deleted an unneeded paragraph about Donohue talking to a full room for an hour. That information could be fit into another paragraph or in an attribution involving direct quotes from the lecture. The only other mistake was Google was not capitalized in a quote from Donohue used in the headline and in the story. The pulp quote headline underneath the main headline is a good touch and really brings the reader in.

The second story above the fold is about new technology features from the IT department. This story had a few more grammatical errors. A few misplaced commas and unnecessary words were the big issues on the grammatical front. The writer waited to mention the release date of these new technologies until the last paragraph and it is important information and should be in the lead or second paragraph. The writer also only interviewed one source and it would help if another member of the technology department was interviewed.

The final story on the page is about a walk to honor a graduate of Marshall who died in the 9/11 attacks. This article should be above the fold. It is more important and newsworthy over the two stories picked to be above the fold. The story was also free of grammatical mistakes as far as I can tell. One problem though is the writer waits to the middle of the story to mention the person who the walk is in honor of. The first two paragraphs mentions the walk, but then it goes into what the coordinator of the walk was going through that day. The walk is the story and who it is in honor of is important and should be early in the story. The pictures for the story were good quality, but do not necessarily capture the walk itself.

The headlines on the page were mostly good. The one for the IT story could use some work.

 

Third page:

The sports page consisted of two columns and a story on the women’s soccer game taking place that evening. The first column was about the Marshall and Ohio rivalry. Another well-written column by James Collier with plenty of stats and facts. One would need to double check the accuracy of those facts. He did use “lost” instead of “loss” when referring the worst loss for Marshall in the rivalry. The column jumps to page to conclude. Collier got quotes from Doc Holliday and Ohio’s head coach, which looks good getting both sides.

The women’s soccer story could use a rewrite. The story does not have quotes from anyone on the team. It would help the story to have quotes from players and/or coaches about the game. The author also incorrectly mentioned the conference the University of Cincinnati is affiliated with. The authors says “American Conference” in the story, but its officially the “American Athletic Conference.” The story should have a quote or two or even a paraphrase of one.

The final story on the page is another column about fan attendance at Marshall football games. It was well-written and free of errors.

The headlines are average, but work for the stories. Could be rewritten, but I do not see exactly what could drastically improve them.

 

Fourth page:

The fourth page is very simple. Above the fold is an info-graphic about events for the weekend. Very simple graphic and could use some imagination and liveliness. It is a good graphic for students to know what is going on around campus during the weekend. The picture of the bell and of Lizzie Kish are good cut-out pictures for the graphic.

The story below the fold is a wire story on comic book movies, so it is free of errors. It is a well-written story, but it does not have any importance to Marshall. A more relevant story could have been selected to fill the space.

 

Fifth page:

The fifth page is the jump page for this issue with two stories jumping here: Collier’s column and the wire story from page four. There is a small story on a new night club on the page. The lead could use some rewriting. It should mention Tyrone Washington opening the new club and where it is located and how long it has been open. The next paragraph should mention when it is open and why Washington opened it. Overall, a good story minus an unneeded sentence at the end of the story, which has already been previously mentioned. The headline could be written and less simple than a new club opening on 4th avenue.

The other story on the page is an AP story. So, of course it was well-written and sufficient in its information.

 

Sixth page:

 The last page is the Worship Directory page listing different churches in the area.

Overall, this issue was good with not many big errors. A few rewrites in a couple of stories, but nothing major.

 

 

 

Critique of Friday edition of The Parthenon (9/5 edition)

This semester I will be critiquing and editing the Friday edition of The Parthenon. I will go through the edition page-by-page and provide thoughtful editing advice.

Front page:

The front page of the edition is fantastic. The background picture of Steve Dillon with the previews to the left with quotes and headlines of stories in the issue. And the quote from Coach Holliday with the "Protect the M" in big bold letters brings attention to the letter and that is the story most readers will more than likely go to first. I did not detect any errors from a style and grammatical standpoint.

Second page:

ChiliFest story above the fold: Overall a good story, the reporter interviewed significant people associated with the event: chairman of the event and the director of development for the Ronald McDonald House and didn't leave the reader with any unanswered questions.

I would make the lead paragraph one sentence instead of two. The second sentence correlates directly with the first sentence and it does not need to be separated. I would also move the first sentence in the fifth paragraph to the second as it flows better there considering the second paragraph explains what ChiliFest is and so does the opening sentence of the fifth paragraph. A few unnecessary words need to be deleted. The quote regarding the event needing more volunteers can be removed as most events like this need volunteers and the paraphrase in the transition is sufficient information for the reader.

The headline is simple and tells the reader the main purpose of the article right away. The photos are okay. One of the photos is sufficient as they show the same thing: people serving chili. A photo of a group of people enjoying the chili would bring more to the reader compared to two pictures depicting the same action.

The WMUL article on the bottom of the fold was also well-done from a style and quality of work standpoint. The only problem with the story was an unnecessary paragraph second paragraph. The next paragraph that previews a quote from Adam Rogers, WMUL executive director, says the same thing as the second paragraph. Given it leads into a quote the transition is more important to the story. The sources of the article are credible given both are directors for WMUL.

The photo of James Collier is a quality picture. The caption has "broadcasts works" right next to each other, so that is a typo and I would delete works as broadcasts sounds better. An unneeded "that" should also be deleted in the caption. "Is" should be deleted from the headline. Other than that a nice, simple headline.

The weather article to the right of the WMUL article should honestly be deleted. A graphic of the weather for the weekend would work better in the design.

Overall a solid page with little mistakes in style, facts, etc. I would have flipped the two articles as WMUL is more important in a student paper compared to ChiliFest, which would be more important in a local paper like The Herald-Dispatch.

Third page:

The top of the page is clean. A few grammar mistakes (missing commas) slipped through, but nothing major. Both pieces, a column from James Collier and a letter from Doc Holliday, did not need sources, so no issues there. One may need to double check the stats from the 1999 season on scoring for the season. I would switch the letter and the Collier column and have the letter from Coach Holliday and have the letter on the left side of the page, so it's the first piece the readers see on the page.

The article on the bottom of the page is a different story. More major changes are needed for the article regarding the football team preparing for the Rhode Island game. An incorrect name is used in a paragraph naming the offensive captains for the game. "Rob Johnson" is used instead of "Devon Johnson." The reporter also did not list the class of the players and what specific position they play on the field. Not all readers will know that information. An unneeded  paragraph regarding a player returning from injury is not needed as it does not pertain to the team's preparation for the game. The headline may be a little weak and could be rewritten, but with the small space that may be difficult.

Fourth page:

The top half of page four could use work. The article about the Maniacs needs to delete some unneeded quotes from students that do not do anything for the article. Also, quoting members of the organization are fine, but a quote or two from the head of the organization would boost the credibility of the article. Other then that there were no grammatical mistakes, etc. and the headline was well-written. The article about churches providing a free food truck at the home football opener was well-written. Besides moving the time element in the lead paragraph from the end of the paragraph to after "New Life Church of Huntington" it was also free of grammatical errors. The headline was also sufficient for the story.

The photo in between the two stories was incorrect. It stated a home football game versus "George Washington University" on "Sept. 9, 2013." Marshall did not play George Washington University last season and September 9th was a Monday and college football games are not typically played on Mondays. The writer of the caption may have been referring to the Gardner-Webb game on September 7th of 2013. That is a major mistake by the editor of the page. The pictures on the page for the articles were good photos and captured the students love for Marshall football.

The article on the bottom of the fold about new food options in the Memorial Student Center also did not have many mistakes. A few unnecessary words and lack of explanation on what "Salad Creations" is as an option for students as far as what is served. The reporter did get quotes from the dining services manager at Marshall and got students' take on the changes, so the reporter did well o that front. The graphic explaining all the choices students have in the student center could use some design editing. The spacing between the name of the food service and description are not consistent.

No major grammatical mistakes and style mistakes on the page, but a fact error in a photo caption is a problem. The headlines were well-written on the page.

Page Five:

Page five is filled with pictures and ads, so not much going on from a news standpoint, which is fine as the pictures are of good quality and depict different aspects of Marshall football games. One of the captions had an unnecessary word, but that is minor. The lone article on the page about United Way offering free parking for Marshall games was well-written and free of grammatical and style errors. With the elimination of a few pictures another story may have fit well onto the page.

Page Six (Back page):

The back page of this edition is ads for churches in the area. As long as the ads were created by the churches editors should not have to worry about grammar, but should check anyway to be certain the ads are 100 percent correct. The page is well layed-out and is fair as it provides information on a number of churches from different denominations.

Overall thoughts:

The paper had the usual, but not exuberant amount of grammatical and style errors a student paper may have. Some unnecessary words and quotes were used a few times, but that can be easily fixed as the stories are edited. There were a few big mistakes, however. The misuse of a player's name (Rob Johnson instead of Devon Johnson) and posting the wrong team and date from a previous season (George Washington University and Sept. 9, 2013 used instead of what is more than likely Gardner-Webb on Sept. 7, 2013). The reporting in most of the articles was good, the reporters used a variety of credible sources for the most part and the headlines were well-written as well. Overall a clean and solid edition of The Parthenon from a style, grammatical, macro/micro editing, fact, spelling, etc. standpoint.

Assignment 4: News Organizations and how they handle corrections/mistakes


The Charleston Daily Mail's policy on corrections shows they are willing to admit their reporters, editors, and other staffers make mistakes and they want to correct those mistakes as soon as possible to provide their readers with the most accurate news.

This willingness to openly publish their mistakes shows The Daily Mail wants to provide its readers with 100 percent accurate news and will take the necessary steps to do so even though it means publishing their mistakes for all to see. It gives the organization credibility in the readers' eyes knowing that if mistakes are made they will be addressed quickly and presented to readers, so they can see what mistakes were made and see what the correct information is.

News organizations having policies such as The Daily Mail's and following through with these policies helps with the presumption that news organizations are not credible because of their mistakes according to the Urban study. Admitting and publishing mistakes and correcting them shows news organizations are trying to reverse this thought.