Critique of Oct. 10 Friday edition of The Parthenon

Critique of Oct. 10 Friday edition of The Parthenon

 

Front page:

This was the first issue I’ve critiqued that had an article on the front page. The story was about the lift of the same-sex marriage ban in the state of West Virginia. A very appropriate time to put a story on the front page especially since a Marshall student, Aaron Dunn, is an ordained minister and had the opportunity to marry some of the first couples to take advantage of the new law. The story itself was well-written and informative and hit all sources of information. Only issue I saw was the author forgot to mention the year of the Marshall student or talk about when/where he became an ordained minister. The graphic underneath the story showed tweets from both sides of the argument of same-sex marriage. One of the cutouts of the two couples who got married that day could be offensive to certain people as the picture shows one of the couples kissing. I would imagine The Parthenon received a few phone calls about the image.

Most of the page is good as far the pictures, captions, and headlines go. The only problem is the sentence about the Marshall football game is a little hard to read and should have been a different shade of green.

 

Second page:

The second page contained five (short) stories including an AP story. The AP story is appropriate, however, as it is in regards to a West Virginia lab worker tampering with samples. The headlines on the page were okay. The Walking Tacos and golf scramble ones could be written, but not absolutely necessary. A story on the WMUL car bash is the top story on the page. A very short story, but well-written for the most part. I would change how long participants were able to smash the car after the make of the car instead of awkwardly at the end of the sentence. I would have also liked to see a quote from a participant as well to get their take on it, not just from the WMUL directors. The captions for the story were missing commas after identifying the major and class of the participant in the photos.

The second story is about “Walking Tacos” that were being sold by Alpha Chi Omega to raise awareness of domestic violence. The author didn’t mention what the walking tacos were for until a couple of paragraphs into the story. That would be perfect for the second paragraph instead of describing what a walking taco is. The time element at the end of the lead should have been moved as well. A few missing commas and a paragraph that should have been two instead of one are the other issues in the article. The authors also could have properly identified the president of the organization. Saying “president” and not “Alpha Chi Omega president” could be confusing to some readers.

The fourth story on the page is about the H.E.L.P. Center golf scramble. Another good story, just a few grammar mistakes like missing commas and unnecessary phrases. Also, the author could have mentioned it being the 15th annual scramble in the lead rather than at the end of the second paragraph. The author also should change “hosting” to a better verb. Maybe reword the sentence to say “The 15th annual….organized by the H.E.L.P. Center.”

The last story is about J.J. Hensley returning to Huntington to support his second book. Not a big news story, which is why the length is appropriate as a brief. It is a little difficult to read because of the darkness of the shade of gray. The author also needed to incorporate that October is Breast Cancer Awareness month in the sentence saying a portion of the proceeds will go to a certain organization because of the month instead of a separate sentence saying October is Breast Cancer Awareness month.

 

Third page:

The third page has typically been dedicated to Marshall football and this issue is no different. The assistant sports editor for The Parthenon, Shannon Stowers, has an article about the upcoming game. And it usually has the most mistakes in my opinion. It has a few unneeded phrases and sentences throughout. It also mentions Middle Tennessee’s quarterback being mobile, but doesn’t mention his rushing stats until a couple of paragraphs later. Should have added the rushing stats with his passing stats (and add completion percentage to the stats as well instead of later) when mentioning he can run instead of later. The author also should have gotten a quote or two from a player.

The headline, graphic, captions, and photos are all good on the page and fit well.

 

Fourth page:

The fourth page is a graphic previewing events on Friday and Saturday in the Huntington area. Besides putting an incorrect ticket price for one of the concerts, no mistakes and informative with good cutout pictures.

 

Fifth page:

The fifth page had two stories on it. The first was a story on rock tour including Five Finger Death Punch playing in Huntington on Friday evening. The story had a few grammar mistakes. The author also had a phrase that said it was one of the groups’ first time in the area, but didn’t mention who. It could be inferred, but it isn’t clear in the sentence. An unneeded phrases at the end of the story should be deleted as it was already mentioned tickets were still available. Also, the time element at the end of the lead should be moved. The headline for the story was good.

The other story on the page is a jump from the same-sex marriage story from the front page.

There also were three pictures about the “Smoothie Mixoff” splitting the two stories. But there is no story with these pictures. Why put pictures of this event if there is no story with it. Many readers may not read the captions, were a little difficult to read, to see what the event was and where it was held, etc. They shouldn’t have been there if no story was going to be placed with it.

 

Sixth page:

The back page of this edition is ads for churches in the area. As long as the ads were created by the churches editors should not have to worry about grammar, but should check anyway to be certain the ads are 100 percent correct. The page is well layed-out and is fair as it provides information on a number of churches from different denominations.

 

Overall thoughts:

Another solid issue. No major rewrites or macro decisions are needed just the typical grammar mistakes, wordiness, and time element placement were the main issues. Captions, headlines, graphics, and design, for the most part, were good.