Oct. 17 Parthenon critique

Oct. 17 The Parthenon critique

 

Front page:

The front page of the Friday edition of The Parthenon continues to be stellar for the most part. The staff picks good pictures and quotes to preview stories in the issue. Every now and then a few of the lines are unreadable because of the shade used in the words with the background images. Other than that an overall good front page.

 

Second page:

The first story on the page is about two sororities hosting an event with an animal shelter. In the lead the author failed to mention when and where the event took place. The author also should have mentioned the success of the event earlier and not in the sixth paragraph. Maybe move it to the second paragraph before going into quotes from organizers of the event and attendees. Another problem is the headline mentions adoptions took place, but the author didn’t interview someone who adopted a puppy. It is misleading to not to get one of their takes on the event because of the headline, which makes it seem the headline is about adoptions. The story could have been much shorter as well. Some of the quotes are not necessary as they do not contribute to the story and its mission.

The second story is about a block party being sponsored by the Habitat for Humanity in Huntington. The only issue with the story, as far as AP style goes, is the misuse of the abbreviation for West Virginia. In AP it is supposed to be spelled out. If the Parthenon doesn’t recognize that change, WV is still not right, W.Va. is. Overall the story is informative and has a good variety of sources.

The last story on the page is about Jay Leno. The graphic of Leno behind the text makes the info a little hard to read. The story could have been better organized. The story is about Leno and after the lead he is not mentioned again until the third paragraph after talking about the choir who performed at the show. It is Marshall related, but it’s a Leno story and is more important. The quote about the show should be moved after the author lists a few jokes made my Leno. The use of the jokes was a little too much. One or two is fine, but more is wordy and unnecessary when it’s not actual quotes from Leno about the show.

The headlines, pictures, and captions are well-written and readable.

 

Third page:

The sports page had a football preview and a women’s soccer and volleyball stories. Each story waited until the very end to announce what time the game was. Many readers may miss the time because they didn’t want to read the rest of the story. Each story was okay as far as writing and depth and information, but they were filled with wordiness. Each story could have been a couple of paragraphs shorter if the wordiness is taken out. The volleyball and soccer stories do not have quotes. The author, same for both stories, should have gotten quotes for the stories from at least a coach or player. The pull quote for the football preview is a little hard to read as well. The headlines on the page are fine.

Fourth page:

The two stories and the weekend graphic on this page are well-written. A little wordiness on the Frankie Valli and Halloween stories, but well-written for the most part. The headlines and captions and pictures are well-written.

 

Fifth page:

Two of the stories on this page are jump stories and have been addressed. The top story on a volleyball tournament for breast cancer awareness is a little bit of a mess. The time element is at the end of the lead and should be moved up before explanation of the event. It took the author until the sixth paragraph to mention specifics about the event.  Most readers would have stopped reading by then. I would move the last five paragraphs after the lead and move the rest back. The author only got one source and it isn’t mention if the source organized the event or not. It is a good source as her mom is effected by the disease and the event helps her family, but an organizer of the event should be quoted too. If Neghmouche is the organizer it isn’t mentioned.

The other new story on the page is about Student Resource Center events. The story could have been cut in half and made into an information brief. The info in the story isn’t earth-shattering and doesn’t really need to be nine paragraphs. The time element in the third paragraph needs to be moved from the beginning of the sentence to the middle.

The headlines for the two stories are good. But, the page does have pictures of David Grohl and no story. It isn’t really necessary and should be removed.  

 

Sixth page:

The back page of this edition is ads for churches in the area. As long as the ads were created by the churches editors should not have to worry about grammar, but should check anyway to be certain the ads are 100 percent correct. The page is well layed-out and is fair as it provides information on a number of churches from different denominations.