Proust Interview

What is your most marked characteristic?
My perfectionism when it comes to playing golf or basketball. I hate to do poorly in a game or hit a bad shot. I hate losing too.

What is the quality you most like in a man?
Humor and honesty.

What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Humor and honesty.

What do you most value in your friends?
Trustworthiness. I want to be able to tell them anything in confidential without worry.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Not working or trying as hard as I can at everything that doesn’t involve sports.

What is your favorite occupation?
A sports writer.

What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Being surrounded by the ones I love and being able to write and play golf as much as possible without a care in the world.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Not loving myself for who I am.

In which country would you like to live?
Anywhere in Europe where I can write about sports and play golf.

Who are your favorite writers?
I don’t really have any favorite writers. I’m just a fan of reading good sports stories about games, people, teams and recruiting.

Who are your favorite poets?
I’m not a big fan of poetry.

Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
Probably one of Spiderman, Batman, or Captain America.

Who is your favorite heroine of fiction?
I don’t have one.

Who are your favorite composers?
I don’t have any favorite composers, but my favorite musicians are Aerosmith and American Authors.

Who are your favorite painters?
Van Gough or Da Vinci.

What are your favorite names?
I like my own name.

What is it that you most dislike?
People who try to tear others down.

Which talent would you most like to have?
I would like to be able to sing. Who doesn’t like to sing?

How would you like to die?
Peacefully in my sleep.

What is your current state of mind?
Curious to what my future holds.

What is your motto?
Work hard and be a good person and you’ll be rewarded in life.

 

Critique of Halloween edition (Oct. 31) of Parthenon

Critique of Oct. 31 Parthenon Friday edition

 

Front page:

The staff did a pretty good job of incorporating Halloween into the paper with the front page. A lot of the text was in orange writing and they put a spider on the front page and said look for it on each page, so that should have helped bring readers to look at every page. This is one of the few front pages where all the writing on the page was easily readable. The staff did a good job with the zombie image on the bottom of the page to continue the Halloween theme. The staff continues to create solid front pages of the Friday edition that typically have no stories on the front page.

 

Second page:

Three stories make up the second page of the paper. One about a pumpkin house in the C-K area, one about the Zombie 5k run and one about Allison Grimes and a rally she had in Ashland where former president Bill Clinton endorsed her. All three stories have the typical problems that make up the stories in The Parthenon. All three had wordiness and missing commas, etc. The Pumpkin House had an attribution issue where writer could have introduced the speaker much earlier in the quote. The Zombie 5k story had an organization problem where important information about the run like the cost to run and where the proceeds for the event go. Readers would like to know this information, especially if they are interested in running and have to wait until the end of the story to find out. That information should be in the first few paragraphs. The Grimes story was good from an organization standpoint, it just had the typical wordiness and unnecessary phrases that could have been left out to make the story more clear and concise. The headlines on the page are pretty good. They are simple, but given the small space they are good.

 

Third page:

There was only one story on the page as a half-page ad is on the bottom half of the page. The lone story on the page is about the PR firm hired by C-USA to bring attention the Marshall’s football season. The story was well-written, as this is probably the version used after editing in the sports writing class. The writer could have mentioned the name of the firm in the lead instead of the second paragraph and then get into what the firm is trying to accomplish. The headline on the page is sort of misleading. It says the Herd is trying to bring attention to its season, but it’s really the PR firm. The headline should say that instead of saying Marshall is trying to do that as that is not what the story is about.

 

Fourth page:

The two stories on page four, Tubaween/Octubafest and one about the V Club having a musical act on Halloween. Both stories were wordy despite being short in nature. The V Club story had the time element at the end of the lead, which should be moved closer to the verb and the cost of tickets wasn’t mentioned until the very end and should be moved up early, so readers don’t miss the price by not reading the entire story. Other than wordiness and an unnecessary quote in the Tubafest story the stories were okay. The bottom half of the page has a list of events at Civil War Days. No problems with it as far as AP style goes, but it is a little dark and difficult to read in certain areas. It should have been a lighter shade. The headlines are good, given the space, and tell the reader what they need to know.

 

Fifth page:

The fifth page is usually taken up by a graphic listing the events in the area for the weekend and this issue is no different. The graphic is free of AP style errors and grammar, etc.  

 

Sixth page:

 The back page of this edition is ads for churches in the area. As long as the ads were created by the churches editors should not have to worry about grammar, but should check anyway to be certain the ads are 100 percent correct. The page is well layed-out and is fair as it provides information on a number of churches from different denominations.

 

Overall Thoughts:

 

The stories the paper had were well-written for the most part minus the wordiness, a few organizational and time element problems, an attribution issue and not identify the PR firm in the football story early enough. The headlines were good for the most part. I don't think any of them needed rewriting. The issue could have used more stories as there were only six and a couple of them were very short. But, this issue tends to be short with the weekend graphic and the front page not having any stories, typically. But, still a good issue.  

 

Oct. 24 critique of Friday edition of The Parthenon

Oct. 24 issue of The Parthenon

 

Front page:

The front page continues to be filled with graphics and pull quotes to pull readers in. The design is good and the reader can read all the quotes. Highlighting D’Antoni’s quote with green to emphasize the important parts of his quote is a good touch.

 

Second page:

The two stories on the second page are about a concert in the Smith Recital Hall and about political leaders visiting the school. I would have reversed the stories and had the political leaders story above the fold as it is more important. Wordiness was the main issue for both stories and I delete a few phrases and sentences that weren’t needed in the copy and didn’t had anything to the story. In the concert story I would have put the location of the event in the lead and not the final paragraph and I would paraphrase a quote because it is extremely tough to read a quote listing what songs were played in the performance and isn’t worth quote material. And in the political story instead of simply saying the leaders spoke mention which high-profile ones, like Nick Rahall, spoke to students. The headlines and captions on the story are well-written.

 

Third page:

The sports page had two stories on it: football preview for FAU game and Thundering Herd Madness. As with the other page the football preview’s main issue was wordiness. The Herd Madness story had the same issue and had a few editorializing phrases saying the event was fun instead of quoting a participant or spectator saying it. The author should have made the story more about the men’s team participating earlier in the story as they were the main attraction of the event and mention what the women’s team did later in the event. Headlines, captions and pictures on the page are good.

 

Fourth page:

The two stories on the fourth page is about the Greek IMPACT retreat and the H.E.L.P. program raising awareness for ADHD. As with the other stories in the issue wordiness is the main problems in the stories. The Greek story needs to move the time element in the lead closer to the verb and not at the end of the sentence. The other half of the page is taken up the normal graphic going over events for the weekend.

 

Fifth page:

The jump page, so nothing new to edit on the page minus a couple of captions for random pictures on the page that do not have stories accompanying them. The captions do explain the pictures well, but stories, if could be related to MU, would be nice.

 

Sixth page:

 The back page of this edition is ads for churches in the area. As long as the ads were created by the churches editors should not have to worry about grammar, but should check anyway to be certain the ads are 100 percent correct. The page is well layed-out and is fair as it provides information on a number of churches from different denominations.

 

Overall thoughts:

The main issues with the paper were wordiness and a few AP Style issues. The pictures, headlines and captions were well-written for the most part. Another solid issue by the staff.

Oct. 17 Parthenon critique

Oct. 17 The Parthenon critique

 

Front page:

The front page of the Friday edition of The Parthenon continues to be stellar for the most part. The staff picks good pictures and quotes to preview stories in the issue. Every now and then a few of the lines are unreadable because of the shade used in the words with the background images. Other than that an overall good front page.

 

Second page:

The first story on the page is about two sororities hosting an event with an animal shelter. In the lead the author failed to mention when and where the event took place. The author also should have mentioned the success of the event earlier and not in the sixth paragraph. Maybe move it to the second paragraph before going into quotes from organizers of the event and attendees. Another problem is the headline mentions adoptions took place, but the author didn’t interview someone who adopted a puppy. It is misleading to not to get one of their takes on the event because of the headline, which makes it seem the headline is about adoptions. The story could have been much shorter as well. Some of the quotes are not necessary as they do not contribute to the story and its mission.

The second story is about a block party being sponsored by the Habitat for Humanity in Huntington. The only issue with the story, as far as AP style goes, is the misuse of the abbreviation for West Virginia. In AP it is supposed to be spelled out. If the Parthenon doesn’t recognize that change, WV is still not right, W.Va. is. Overall the story is informative and has a good variety of sources.

The last story on the page is about Jay Leno. The graphic of Leno behind the text makes the info a little hard to read. The story could have been better organized. The story is about Leno and after the lead he is not mentioned again until the third paragraph after talking about the choir who performed at the show. It is Marshall related, but it’s a Leno story and is more important. The quote about the show should be moved after the author lists a few jokes made my Leno. The use of the jokes was a little too much. One or two is fine, but more is wordy and unnecessary when it’s not actual quotes from Leno about the show.

The headlines, pictures, and captions are well-written and readable.

 

Third page:

The sports page had a football preview and a women’s soccer and volleyball stories. Each story waited until the very end to announce what time the game was. Many readers may miss the time because they didn’t want to read the rest of the story. Each story was okay as far as writing and depth and information, but they were filled with wordiness. Each story could have been a couple of paragraphs shorter if the wordiness is taken out. The volleyball and soccer stories do not have quotes. The author, same for both stories, should have gotten quotes for the stories from at least a coach or player. The pull quote for the football preview is a little hard to read as well. The headlines on the page are fine.

Fourth page:

The two stories and the weekend graphic on this page are well-written. A little wordiness on the Frankie Valli and Halloween stories, but well-written for the most part. The headlines and captions and pictures are well-written.

 

Fifth page:

Two of the stories on this page are jump stories and have been addressed. The top story on a volleyball tournament for breast cancer awareness is a little bit of a mess. The time element is at the end of the lead and should be moved up before explanation of the event. It took the author until the sixth paragraph to mention specifics about the event.  Most readers would have stopped reading by then. I would move the last five paragraphs after the lead and move the rest back. The author only got one source and it isn’t mention if the source organized the event or not. It is a good source as her mom is effected by the disease and the event helps her family, but an organizer of the event should be quoted too. If Neghmouche is the organizer it isn’t mentioned.

The other new story on the page is about Student Resource Center events. The story could have been cut in half and made into an information brief. The info in the story isn’t earth-shattering and doesn’t really need to be nine paragraphs. The time element in the third paragraph needs to be moved from the beginning of the sentence to the middle.

The headlines for the two stories are good. But, the page does have pictures of David Grohl and no story. It isn’t really necessary and should be removed.  

 

Sixth page:

The back page of this edition is ads for churches in the area. As long as the ads were created by the churches editors should not have to worry about grammar, but should check anyway to be certain the ads are 100 percent correct. The page is well layed-out and is fair as it provides information on a number of churches from different denominations.

 

 

 

Critique of Oct. 10 Friday edition of The Parthenon

Critique of Oct. 10 Friday edition of The Parthenon

 

Front page:

This was the first issue I’ve critiqued that had an article on the front page. The story was about the lift of the same-sex marriage ban in the state of West Virginia. A very appropriate time to put a story on the front page especially since a Marshall student, Aaron Dunn, is an ordained minister and had the opportunity to marry some of the first couples to take advantage of the new law. The story itself was well-written and informative and hit all sources of information. Only issue I saw was the author forgot to mention the year of the Marshall student or talk about when/where he became an ordained minister. The graphic underneath the story showed tweets from both sides of the argument of same-sex marriage. One of the cutouts of the two couples who got married that day could be offensive to certain people as the picture shows one of the couples kissing. I would imagine The Parthenon received a few phone calls about the image.

Most of the page is good as far the pictures, captions, and headlines go. The only problem is the sentence about the Marshall football game is a little hard to read and should have been a different shade of green.

 

Second page:

The second page contained five (short) stories including an AP story. The AP story is appropriate, however, as it is in regards to a West Virginia lab worker tampering with samples. The headlines on the page were okay. The Walking Tacos and golf scramble ones could be written, but not absolutely necessary. A story on the WMUL car bash is the top story on the page. A very short story, but well-written for the most part. I would change how long participants were able to smash the car after the make of the car instead of awkwardly at the end of the sentence. I would have also liked to see a quote from a participant as well to get their take on it, not just from the WMUL directors. The captions for the story were missing commas after identifying the major and class of the participant in the photos.

The second story is about “Walking Tacos” that were being sold by Alpha Chi Omega to raise awareness of domestic violence. The author didn’t mention what the walking tacos were for until a couple of paragraphs into the story. That would be perfect for the second paragraph instead of describing what a walking taco is. The time element at the end of the lead should have been moved as well. A few missing commas and a paragraph that should have been two instead of one are the other issues in the article. The authors also could have properly identified the president of the organization. Saying “president” and not “Alpha Chi Omega president” could be confusing to some readers.

The fourth story on the page is about the H.E.L.P. Center golf scramble. Another good story, just a few grammar mistakes like missing commas and unnecessary phrases. Also, the author could have mentioned it being the 15th annual scramble in the lead rather than at the end of the second paragraph. The author also should change “hosting” to a better verb. Maybe reword the sentence to say “The 15th annual….organized by the H.E.L.P. Center.”

The last story is about J.J. Hensley returning to Huntington to support his second book. Not a big news story, which is why the length is appropriate as a brief. It is a little difficult to read because of the darkness of the shade of gray. The author also needed to incorporate that October is Breast Cancer Awareness month in the sentence saying a portion of the proceeds will go to a certain organization because of the month instead of a separate sentence saying October is Breast Cancer Awareness month.

 

Third page:

The third page has typically been dedicated to Marshall football and this issue is no different. The assistant sports editor for The Parthenon, Shannon Stowers, has an article about the upcoming game. And it usually has the most mistakes in my opinion. It has a few unneeded phrases and sentences throughout. It also mentions Middle Tennessee’s quarterback being mobile, but doesn’t mention his rushing stats until a couple of paragraphs later. Should have added the rushing stats with his passing stats (and add completion percentage to the stats as well instead of later) when mentioning he can run instead of later. The author also should have gotten a quote or two from a player.

The headline, graphic, captions, and photos are all good on the page and fit well.

 

Fourth page:

The fourth page is a graphic previewing events on Friday and Saturday in the Huntington area. Besides putting an incorrect ticket price for one of the concerts, no mistakes and informative with good cutout pictures.

 

Fifth page:

The fifth page had two stories on it. The first was a story on rock tour including Five Finger Death Punch playing in Huntington on Friday evening. The story had a few grammar mistakes. The author also had a phrase that said it was one of the groups’ first time in the area, but didn’t mention who. It could be inferred, but it isn’t clear in the sentence. An unneeded phrases at the end of the story should be deleted as it was already mentioned tickets were still available. Also, the time element at the end of the lead should be moved. The headline for the story was good.

The other story on the page is a jump from the same-sex marriage story from the front page.

There also were three pictures about the “Smoothie Mixoff” splitting the two stories. But there is no story with these pictures. Why put pictures of this event if there is no story with it. Many readers may not read the captions, were a little difficult to read, to see what the event was and where it was held, etc. They shouldn’t have been there if no story was going to be placed with it.

 

Sixth page:

The back page of this edition is ads for churches in the area. As long as the ads were created by the churches editors should not have to worry about grammar, but should check anyway to be certain the ads are 100 percent correct. The page is well layed-out and is fair as it provides information on a number of churches from different denominations.

 

Overall thoughts:

Another solid issue. No major rewrites or macro decisions are needed just the typical grammar mistakes, wordiness, and time element placement were the main issues. Captions, headlines, graphics, and design, for the most part, were good.

Critique of the Friday Oct. 3 edition of The Parthenon

Critique of the Friday Oct. 3 edition of The Parthenon

 

Front page:

The staff continues to put out quality front pages for the Friday editions of the paper. The type and quality of graphics again are good. The light orange type on the left side of the page is a little difficult to read, but other than that not much to report on the front page when there are no stories on the page. The use of the color orange really brightens up the page and brings out the main point of the paper and that is to illustrate the beginning of fall and the football game on Saturday along with relevant Marshall student news.

 

Second page:

The top story on the page is about the Pumpkin Festival in Milton. The reporter definitely did their homework and researched the history of the event and what goes on during the event typically. The writer could have gotten better sources instead of a volunteer. Contact the director of the event or someone high up in the operations. A few lines in the story are a little hard to read due to them running along the edge of the photo. The picture isn’t really a good photo and certainly could have been shrunk to avoid the strain on the readers’ eyes in those certain spots. A few unnecessary words and a paragraph should be deleted in the story.

The bottom two stories regarding a new invention festival and the Thunder Cup make up the bottom part of the page. Both stories did not have many mistakes, a few unnecessary words and phrases, and a good amount of information and a quality of sources.

The headlines are okay. The use of pull quotes on the page is a nice touch though.

 

Third page:

The third page is specifically dedicated to the Marshall and Old Dominion game. The photos and graphic on the page are good. One of the captions in the left photo is a little difficult to read.

The preview story is too wordy to say the least. A lot of the transitions said exactly what the quotes did and aren’t needed. A few unnecessary words and phrases were also deleted. The preview was pretty good minus the wordiness.

 

Fourth page:

The top half of the page is a mess. It is extremely difficult to read the Unity Walk story. It was not worth editing because the strain on my eyes was bad. I’m not sure why the article was shaded in the first place. The pull quote on the right side of the picture is also difficult to read.

The B.B. King story does not answer the so what question. It is nice a musical legend is coming to the area, but not near Marshall. He is playing in Charleston. It would be more relevant in a Marshall newspaper if the school was sponsoring a concert or it was in Huntington. I would not have ran the story.

The Alzheimer disease story to the right was informative and well-written. The author did a good job, but could have used another source about the walk. Other than a confusing use of the acronym “AA” no major mistakes outside unnecessary words.

The Alzheimer graphic at the bottom of the page is a little difficult to read and could be a little lighter shade.

 

Page Five:

Unfortunately page five is filled with AP wire stories. Would have liked to see a few more Marshall-related stories. One wire story is okay, but to me three is just too many. A few smaller, maybe not so big stories in terms of news about Marshall related info could have been placed on the page. The wire story on Colorado students speaking out against curriculum form would have been good for the page. The other two about the suspect being captured in the missing UVA case and about the UN aren’t really relevant.

 

Sixth page:

The back page of this edition is ads for churches in the area. As long as the ads were created by the churches editors should not have to worry about grammar, but should check anyway to be certain the ads are 100 percent correct. The page is well layed-out and is fair as it provides information on a number of churches from different denominations.

 

Overall thoughts:

Another good Friday edition of The Parthenon. A few of the stories were wordy and could use some touching up in that regard. A few of the pictures led to unreadable type that should be fixed in order to increase the chance readers actually read the stories. A macro decision should have been made on the B.B. King story and it should have been axed. And the Unity Walk story should have not been shaded. It was unreadable. There were too many AP stories in the issue as well. One is good, two is okay, but three seems excessive. Outside of the wordiness and shading on the graphics near type not a bad issue.    

Critique of Friday edition of The Parthenon (9/26)

Critique of Friday edition of The Parthenon (9/26)

 

Front page:

The Parthenon staff continues to produce quality front pages. The background pictures are fantastic and the designer of the page picked good quotes from the stories inside the paper to draw the reader in. Quality work from the staff on the front page.

 

Second page:

The top story regarding student debt was well-written. The quality of sources is good, quality information, and statistics. The author mentioned a New York Times article in the story, but did not mention the date. That could be important to a reader who may want to take a look at that article. Other than an unnecessary sentence that could be combined with the previous sentence and would flow a little better. The bottom story was about a salsa dancing event held at Marshall. Overall it is a pretty good story, but it failed to mention the date of the event. The author got a variety of sources including one of the professional dancers at the event, one of the organizers of the event and students who attended the event.  The author could have added information about what the dance is and where salsa originated from, etc.

The photos on the page were pretty good. A couple of them were still shots and could have been more action based. The headlines and captions were good as well.

 

Third page:

The top story is about coach Holliday talking about the bye week for the football team that week. The story itself was okay. It had a few unnecessary phrases that should be deleted and/or change. But, the article doesn’t really tell the readers anything outside of the obvious that teams like bye weeks for: getting healthy and fixing any problems that may need addressed. I think a different angle could have been taken and maybe focus on why the offense has been successful or something of the like. It seems James Collier is doing a weekly column regarding Marshall football in the Friday edition of the paper, which is great as his columns have been well-written and informing. He clearly does his research in this piece like his others providing facts and statistics to back of the reason for his column, which was Marshall’s weak schedule in football this season. A missed punctuation mistake slipped by, but other than that the column was free of error and AP style mistakes. The hockey story on the page had a missing comma on the attendance numbers. The author also failed to mention that Evan Hazelett was president of the club when he was first mentioned in the article. The author could have provided more information on how Hazelett got the program started again. More information on this year’s team and the team in general would have been good as well and more sources maybe a player on the team or a coach.

The photos, captions and headlines are also good. Basic, but good. Sometimes a simple headline is all you need.

 

Fourth page:

The top story about the Huntington Music and Arts festival was a good piece. The time element of the lead needs to be moved as it was at the end of the lead and it needs to be closer to the verb. Other than that the article was informative and had a quality amount of sources. The second story on the page was about the Marching Thunder and its future trip to Pittsburgh last Sunday. The quality of sources is good and it was good to interview a member of the ensemble who is a Steelers fan and what it means to play during halftime of a Steelers’ game. There were no errors detected in the story. The final story on the page is about the new iPhone 6. It was a well-written piece, but it doesn’t answer the so what question. The author just got quotes about what the chair of the IT department thought of the iPhone 6 and the problems with the software Apple has had with it. Besides quoting a Marshall IT member the story doesn’t really connect to Marshall and seems like the article may have just been a space filler. A wire story may have been more appropriate. The author didn’t interview any students or faculty who may have purchased the phone.

The captions, photos and headlines are good on the page.

 

Fifth page:

The top story is about the Greek festival. The article was informative and well-written. The author should move the time of the festival towards the beginning of the article instead of the end.

The other two stories on the page (outside of a jump of the end of Collier’s column) are about 5ks. The one on the left was about a 5k for cancer. Overall, it was a good story, but could have used a quote or two from an organizer of the event. Also, the lead ended with a time element and should be moved and avoided if possible. The last sentence may have to be rewritten in order for that to work and flow well. The other 5k story is about the Marshall ROTC sponsor a 5k for a spinal cord disease: syringomyella. Like the other 5k story it could use more variety of sources, who set up the event for the ROTC, the head of the ROTC, more than just cadets helping out with the event. The story was free of AP style and grammar errors, etc. like the other stories on the page.

The headlines, photos and captions were of good quality as well.

 

Sixth page:

The back page of this edition is ads for churches in the area. As long as the ads were created by the churches editors should not have to worry about grammar, but should check anyway to be certain the ads are 100 percent correct. The page is well layed-out and is fair as it provides information on a number of churches from different denominations.

 

Overall thoughts:

Certainly one of the better issues I’ve critiqued thus far as far as AP style, grammar and punctuation and macro and micro issues goes. The staff did a very good job on this front in my opinion. Their captions, pictures, headlines and overall design continue to be good and well done. It is easy to see the grammar mistakes and AP style mistakes are disappearing in each of the issues.   

 

 

Critique of Friday edition of The Parthenon 9/19

Critique of Friday edition 9/19 of The Parthenon

 

Front page:

The students in charge of the front page always do a magnificent job on the Friday edition of The Parthenon. The quotes from the stories they preview on the front page always draw the reader in and force them to read the story to find out what the context of the quote is in regards to the story. The big background imagine is always great and depicts the main topic for the paper. The quotes and headlines are free of error and correctly follow AP style. Another great front page by The Parthenon staff.

Second page:

The article above the fold regarding the new Visual Arts Center was a well-written article with a few mistakes. I would relocate the location of the building, which lead off the lead sentence. I would move it into the second paragraph. A redundant phrase in the fourth paragraph should also be deleted. The quality of sources is good for the story, but could use a little more depth in reporting. The actual space of the new building could be provided compared to the old one and a bit more on the overall design of the building and what went into that design and construction.

The second article on Runway Couture was also free of a great deal of errors and AP style mistakes. A few unnecessary words toward the end of the story and the lead is a tad long and should be split up accordingly. The reporting of the story is fairly good and the quality of sources is good as well.

The headline for the VAC story is a little cliché. A good headline, but cliché. But, the headlines for both stories are of quality and so is the pictures and captions on the page.

Third page:

The article on the painting of the fiberglass bison by sophomore Brianna Jarvis is a good story. It is a little short though. It could have touched more on how much work and what work went into the painting. The reporting was good and had numerous sources including Jarvis. But, it could have been a little more detailed.

The second article on the page is about people’s memories with the building in which the new VAC is in. I do not think it answers the so what questions. I do not think readers are really interested in the topic. It is a good story and touching, but does it really answer the who cares question? I do not believe so. The author failed to mention whether one of the main sources in the article is from Marshall, or just a random person associated with the building. That would help the story make more sense. The use of a pull quote was a nice touch and brought out why the building meant so much to Michelle Tobey.

The pictures and headlines on the page are good and do not need rewriting. At the bottom of the page a typo on who designed the page occurred. Instead of “.edu” for the email of the designer it is .”eduw.” and shouldn’t have been missed.

Fourth page:

This page was entirely dedicated to the Marshall vs. Akron on Saturday. The article on the page detailing the game had a few more mistakes than the other articles in the paper. The lead was too long and should have been split and made into two separate paragraphs. An unneeded sentence regarding Holliday’s comments on Akron should be deleted as Holliday said the same thing in his quote. The author mentioned the classes of the offensive Akron players, but didn’t do so on the defensive side. An unnecessary word in “exactly” and another unneeded phrase towards the end should be deleted to keep the article concise. The article was accompanied by a graphic detailing the statistics for both Marshall and Akron on both sides of the ball. A good page overall with good headlines, graphics and captions.

Fifth page:

The fifth page was mostly consumed by a large graphic detailing the schedule for a Community Open House event and the VAC opening. There were no errors and AP style mistakes in the graphic. Same for the pictures and the captions about the event. The article on page three regarding the memories of the building the VAC is in jumped to this page as well. So, not much content to edit on the page.

Page Six (Back page):

The back page of this edition is ads for churches in the area. As long as the ads were created by the churches editors should not have to worry about grammar, but should check anyway to be certain the ads are 100 percent correct. The page is well layed-out and is fair as it provides information on a number of churches from different denominations.

 

Overall another good issue from The Parthenon staff. Headlines, pictures and captions were all nice, well-designed and well-written. There could have been more stories in the issue, but they did a good job filling in the space with relevant content. It was a good issue detailing visual arts on campus and not focusing solely on football or sports in general. No major macro issues minus the memories story on the VAC. But, not major AP style mistakes, spelling, grammar, punctuation, etc.

Critque of Friday edition of The Parthenon (Sept. 12)

Critique of Friday edition of The Parthenon (9/12)

Corey Bodden

Front page:

The front page of the Friday edition (Sept. 12) of The Parthenon is like most covers for the Friday/weekend edition of the paper. A front page with no articles, but large images covering the entire page with a small “inside” section at the bottom letting readers get a glimpse of what is in the paper. So, nothing to edit except the inside section for grammar, etc. That section looked good to go on that front and a pull quote used certainly grabs the attention of the readers and almost forces them to turn to that story first. “I could tell by the look on her face that she was shocked.” It just invites the reader to figure out why this person was shocked. Another great front page from the design staff.

 

First page:

The first story is in regards to the first Amicus Curiae lecture given by Laura Donohue on privacy in the digital age. A well-written story with few mistakes. I deleted an unneeded paragraph about Donohue talking to a full room for an hour. That information could be fit into another paragraph or in an attribution involving direct quotes from the lecture. The only other mistake was Google was not capitalized in a quote from Donohue used in the headline and in the story. The pulp quote headline underneath the main headline is a good touch and really brings the reader in.

The second story above the fold is about new technology features from the IT department. This story had a few more grammatical errors. A few misplaced commas and unnecessary words were the big issues on the grammatical front. The writer waited to mention the release date of these new technologies until the last paragraph and it is important information and should be in the lead or second paragraph. The writer also only interviewed one source and it would help if another member of the technology department was interviewed.

The final story on the page is about a walk to honor a graduate of Marshall who died in the 9/11 attacks. This article should be above the fold. It is more important and newsworthy over the two stories picked to be above the fold. The story was also free of grammatical mistakes as far as I can tell. One problem though is the writer waits to the middle of the story to mention the person who the walk is in honor of. The first two paragraphs mentions the walk, but then it goes into what the coordinator of the walk was going through that day. The walk is the story and who it is in honor of is important and should be early in the story. The pictures for the story were good quality, but do not necessarily capture the walk itself.

The headlines on the page were mostly good. The one for the IT story could use some work.

 

Third page:

The sports page consisted of two columns and a story on the women’s soccer game taking place that evening. The first column was about the Marshall and Ohio rivalry. Another well-written column by James Collier with plenty of stats and facts. One would need to double check the accuracy of those facts. He did use “lost” instead of “loss” when referring the worst loss for Marshall in the rivalry. The column jumps to page to conclude. Collier got quotes from Doc Holliday and Ohio’s head coach, which looks good getting both sides.

The women’s soccer story could use a rewrite. The story does not have quotes from anyone on the team. It would help the story to have quotes from players and/or coaches about the game. The author also incorrectly mentioned the conference the University of Cincinnati is affiliated with. The authors says “American Conference” in the story, but its officially the “American Athletic Conference.” The story should have a quote or two or even a paraphrase of one.

The final story on the page is another column about fan attendance at Marshall football games. It was well-written and free of errors.

The headlines are average, but work for the stories. Could be rewritten, but I do not see exactly what could drastically improve them.

 

Fourth page:

The fourth page is very simple. Above the fold is an info-graphic about events for the weekend. Very simple graphic and could use some imagination and liveliness. It is a good graphic for students to know what is going on around campus during the weekend. The picture of the bell and of Lizzie Kish are good cut-out pictures for the graphic.

The story below the fold is a wire story on comic book movies, so it is free of errors. It is a well-written story, but it does not have any importance to Marshall. A more relevant story could have been selected to fill the space.

 

Fifth page:

The fifth page is the jump page for this issue with two stories jumping here: Collier’s column and the wire story from page four. There is a small story on a new night club on the page. The lead could use some rewriting. It should mention Tyrone Washington opening the new club and where it is located and how long it has been open. The next paragraph should mention when it is open and why Washington opened it. Overall, a good story minus an unneeded sentence at the end of the story, which has already been previously mentioned. The headline could be written and less simple than a new club opening on 4th avenue.

The other story on the page is an AP story. So, of course it was well-written and sufficient in its information.

 

Sixth page:

 The last page is the Worship Directory page listing different churches in the area.

Overall, this issue was good with not many big errors. A few rewrites in a couple of stories, but nothing major.

 

 

 

Critique of Friday edition of The Parthenon (9/5 edition)

This semester I will be critiquing and editing the Friday edition of The Parthenon. I will go through the edition page-by-page and provide thoughtful editing advice.

Front page:

The front page of the edition is fantastic. The background picture of Steve Dillon with the previews to the left with quotes and headlines of stories in the issue. And the quote from Coach Holliday with the "Protect the M" in big bold letters brings attention to the letter and that is the story most readers will more than likely go to first. I did not detect any errors from a style and grammatical standpoint.

Second page:

ChiliFest story above the fold: Overall a good story, the reporter interviewed significant people associated with the event: chairman of the event and the director of development for the Ronald McDonald House and didn't leave the reader with any unanswered questions.

I would make the lead paragraph one sentence instead of two. The second sentence correlates directly with the first sentence and it does not need to be separated. I would also move the first sentence in the fifth paragraph to the second as it flows better there considering the second paragraph explains what ChiliFest is and so does the opening sentence of the fifth paragraph. A few unnecessary words need to be deleted. The quote regarding the event needing more volunteers can be removed as most events like this need volunteers and the paraphrase in the transition is sufficient information for the reader.

The headline is simple and tells the reader the main purpose of the article right away. The photos are okay. One of the photos is sufficient as they show the same thing: people serving chili. A photo of a group of people enjoying the chili would bring more to the reader compared to two pictures depicting the same action.

The WMUL article on the bottom of the fold was also well-done from a style and quality of work standpoint. The only problem with the story was an unnecessary paragraph second paragraph. The next paragraph that previews a quote from Adam Rogers, WMUL executive director, says the same thing as the second paragraph. Given it leads into a quote the transition is more important to the story. The sources of the article are credible given both are directors for WMUL.

The photo of James Collier is a quality picture. The caption has "broadcasts works" right next to each other, so that is a typo and I would delete works as broadcasts sounds better. An unneeded "that" should also be deleted in the caption. "Is" should be deleted from the headline. Other than that a nice, simple headline.

The weather article to the right of the WMUL article should honestly be deleted. A graphic of the weather for the weekend would work better in the design.

Overall a solid page with little mistakes in style, facts, etc. I would have flipped the two articles as WMUL is more important in a student paper compared to ChiliFest, which would be more important in a local paper like The Herald-Dispatch.

Third page:

The top of the page is clean. A few grammar mistakes (missing commas) slipped through, but nothing major. Both pieces, a column from James Collier and a letter from Doc Holliday, did not need sources, so no issues there. One may need to double check the stats from the 1999 season on scoring for the season. I would switch the letter and the Collier column and have the letter from Coach Holliday and have the letter on the left side of the page, so it's the first piece the readers see on the page.

The article on the bottom of the page is a different story. More major changes are needed for the article regarding the football team preparing for the Rhode Island game. An incorrect name is used in a paragraph naming the offensive captains for the game. "Rob Johnson" is used instead of "Devon Johnson." The reporter also did not list the class of the players and what specific position they play on the field. Not all readers will know that information. An unneeded  paragraph regarding a player returning from injury is not needed as it does not pertain to the team's preparation for the game. The headline may be a little weak and could be rewritten, but with the small space that may be difficult.

Fourth page:

The top half of page four could use work. The article about the Maniacs needs to delete some unneeded quotes from students that do not do anything for the article. Also, quoting members of the organization are fine, but a quote or two from the head of the organization would boost the credibility of the article. Other then that there were no grammatical mistakes, etc. and the headline was well-written. The article about churches providing a free food truck at the home football opener was well-written. Besides moving the time element in the lead paragraph from the end of the paragraph to after "New Life Church of Huntington" it was also free of grammatical errors. The headline was also sufficient for the story.

The photo in between the two stories was incorrect. It stated a home football game versus "George Washington University" on "Sept. 9, 2013." Marshall did not play George Washington University last season and September 9th was a Monday and college football games are not typically played on Mondays. The writer of the caption may have been referring to the Gardner-Webb game on September 7th of 2013. That is a major mistake by the editor of the page. The pictures on the page for the articles were good photos and captured the students love for Marshall football.

The article on the bottom of the fold about new food options in the Memorial Student Center also did not have many mistakes. A few unnecessary words and lack of explanation on what "Salad Creations" is as an option for students as far as what is served. The reporter did get quotes from the dining services manager at Marshall and got students' take on the changes, so the reporter did well o that front. The graphic explaining all the choices students have in the student center could use some design editing. The spacing between the name of the food service and description are not consistent.

No major grammatical mistakes and style mistakes on the page, but a fact error in a photo caption is a problem. The headlines were well-written on the page.

Page Five:

Page five is filled with pictures and ads, so not much going on from a news standpoint, which is fine as the pictures are of good quality and depict different aspects of Marshall football games. One of the captions had an unnecessary word, but that is minor. The lone article on the page about United Way offering free parking for Marshall games was well-written and free of grammatical and style errors. With the elimination of a few pictures another story may have fit well onto the page.

Page Six (Back page):

The back page of this edition is ads for churches in the area. As long as the ads were created by the churches editors should not have to worry about grammar, but should check anyway to be certain the ads are 100 percent correct. The page is well layed-out and is fair as it provides information on a number of churches from different denominations.

Overall thoughts:

The paper had the usual, but not exuberant amount of grammatical and style errors a student paper may have. Some unnecessary words and quotes were used a few times, but that can be easily fixed as the stories are edited. There were a few big mistakes, however. The misuse of a player's name (Rob Johnson instead of Devon Johnson) and posting the wrong team and date from a previous season (George Washington University and Sept. 9, 2013 used instead of what is more than likely Gardner-Webb on Sept. 7, 2013). The reporting in most of the articles was good, the reporters used a variety of credible sources for the most part and the headlines were well-written as well. Overall a clean and solid edition of The Parthenon from a style, grammatical, macro/micro editing, fact, spelling, etc. standpoint.

Assignment 4: News Organizations and how they handle corrections/mistakes


The Charleston Daily Mail's policy on corrections shows they are willing to admit their reporters, editors, and other staffers make mistakes and they want to correct those mistakes as soon as possible to provide their readers with the most accurate news.

This willingness to openly publish their mistakes shows The Daily Mail wants to provide its readers with 100 percent accurate news and will take the necessary steps to do so even though it means publishing their mistakes for all to see. It gives the organization credibility in the readers' eyes knowing that if mistakes are made they will be addressed quickly and presented to readers, so they can see what mistakes were made and see what the correct information is.

News organizations having policies such as The Daily Mail's and following through with these policies helps with the presumption that news organizations are not credible because of their mistakes according to the Urban study. Admitting and publishing mistakes and correcting them shows news organizations are trying to reverse this thought.

Michael Brown article: Assignment 2


If I were the editor and this article came across my desk I would not have ran it as it was written by John Eligon.

For it to run I would have taken out all details involving the "trouble" Michael Brown caused or was involved in. I am okay with Eligon saying Brown was "no angel" because in my opinion most people know that. They do not need to know specific details especially at the time of his funeral. Most of the details in the article are typical of a young kid and teenagers these days. Most of his actions were not out of the ordinary. What child isn't a handful when they were young? What is wrong with him becoming a rapper? Plenty of African Americans and whites attempt to become rappers. It is one of the more popular genres of music. Of course kids are going to get involved with it. Teenagers experiment with alcohol and drugs. It doesn't make it right, but it isn't anything out of the ordinary. Outside of the stealing the box of cigars the details of him not being an angel are unnecessary. I think it is sufficient enough to say he was "no angel" or "not perfect" and highlight the fact he was trying to turn his life around by trying to get a job, graduating high school and planning to attend a technical school to land a better job. He was not a murderer or a criminal. There was no need to highlight typical teenage behavior, outside of the stealing, at the time the article was written.

I think the reporter did put Brown "on trial" a bit by pointing out those details of his past. As I have mentioned those details are not bad and are not unusual of a teenager. But, there was no need for those details to be released even though he received them from Brown's family. Eligon should have been more sensitive to the Brown family and their mourning given Brown was being laid to rest the next day.

There is not a difference between "no angel" or "not perfect." They mean the exact same thing. I am okay with Eligon saying "no angel" and I would be okay if it was "not perfect." The two phrases express the same context that Brown had problems like every other person in the world. Highlighting his past with too many details is what I think the issue of the phrase comes in. It would have been better received had Eligon simply said "Brown was no angel, but..."

I think the article was insensitive to Brown and his family for this article to be published as was. If it was simply stated he was no angel or not perfect and highlight the progress and change he was making to better himself it would have caused no issues to the Brown family and to readers who also considered it insensitive.